What can I do if the other parent refuses to talk about changing the parenting plan after a move? – North Carolina

Short Answer

In North Carolina, if the other parent will not discuss changes after a move, the practical next step is usually to ask the court to enter a custody order (often by turning an agreed plan into a consent order) or, if no agreement is possible, to file a custody action and request a new schedule. A parenting plan that was only “filed” outside of court and not entered as a court order is typically not enforceable by contempt, so court involvement may be necessary to create an enforceable plan. If a custody order already exists, a parent generally must show a change in circumstances and that the requested change is in the child’s best interest.

Understanding the Problem

In North Carolina family law, the key issue is what happens when parents have a written parenting plan, one parent moves, and the other parent refuses to communicate about updating the schedule. Can a parent force a discussion, or must a parent ask a North Carolina court to put an enforceable custody schedule in place (or change an existing one)? The answer usually turns on whether the current parenting plan is a court order and, if it is, whether the move creates the kind of change that allows the court to modify custody.

Apply the Law

North Carolina courts decide custody and parenting time based on the child’s best interest. If there is already a custody order, the court can modify it only after a showing of changed circumstances. A move can matter, but the move alone does not automatically mean custody must change; the court focuses on how the move affects the child and the parenting schedule. If there is no court order (only a private parenting agreement), the court generally cannot enforce it through contempt, and a parent typically needs to file a custody case to get an enforceable order.

Key Requirements

  • Order vs. agreement: A court can enforce and modify a custody order; a private parenting plan that was not entered as an order usually requires a new court case (or a consent order) to become enforceable.
  • Changed circumstances (if an order exists): To change an existing custody order, the moving party generally must show a change in circumstances affecting the child since the last order.
  • Best interest of the child: Whether entering a new order (when no order exists) or modifying an existing one, the court’s decision centers on what schedule and decision-making arrangement best promotes the child’s welfare.

What the Statutes Say

Analysis

Apply the Rule to the Facts: Here, the parents previously signed a parenting plan that was filed outside of court in North Carolina but was not entered as a custody court order. If the other parent refuses to talk about changes after a move, there is usually no practical way to force cooperation through “enforcement” because contempt remedies generally apply to court orders, not private agreements. The typical path is to file (or reopen) a custody case in the appropriate North Carolina district court and ask the judge to enter an enforceable custody order that addresses the new logistics created by the move.

Process & Timing

  1. Who files: Either parent. Where: North Carolina District Court (civil) in the county with proper venue for a child custody action. What: A complaint for child custody (or a motion in the cause if there is already an existing custody case/order) and, if needed, a request for temporary custody/temporary parenting time while the case is pending. When: As soon as it becomes clear that the move has created a schedule problem and the other parent will not engage in a workable revision.
  2. Next step: The other parent must be served with the court papers. Many counties then set an initial scheduling event (often including court-ordered mediation for custody disputes) before a judge hears the case. Timelines vary by county and court calendar.
  3. Final step: If the parents reach agreement, the court can enter a consent custody order that becomes enforceable. If there is no agreement, the judge holds a hearing and enters a custody order with a schedule and terms the judge finds are in the child’s best interest.

Exceptions & Pitfalls

  • Assuming a private plan is enforceable like a court order: In North Carolina, contempt is generally tied to violating a court order. If the parenting plan was never entered as an order, the remedy is usually to seek a court order rather than filing an enforcement motion.
  • Focusing only on the move, not the child-impact: Relocation often becomes legally important when it changes the child’s day-to-day life or makes the existing schedule unworkable. A request framed around the child’s routine, school/daycare, travel time, and stability is usually more relevant than adult conflict.
  • Skipping temporary relief when needed: If the move creates an immediate scheduling gap, waiting for a final hearing can leave months of uncertainty. In appropriate cases, requesting temporary custody/parenting time can create short-term structure while the case proceeds.
  • Communication traps: Repeated hostile messages can be used as evidence in custody litigation. A short, consistent written request proposing specific options (dates/times/exchange locations) can be more helpful than arguing about blame.

For more on what court involvement can look like when parents cannot agree on a schedule, see what happens if the other parent refuses to agree to a 50-50 custody schedule.

Conclusion

In North Carolina, when a parent moves and the other parent refuses to discuss changing the parenting plan, the most reliable solution is usually to get an enforceable custody order in place. If there is already a custody order, a parent generally must show changed circumstances and that the requested change is in the child’s best interest under the custody statutes. The next step is to file a custody action (or the proper motion if a case already exists) in North Carolina District Court as soon as the move makes the current schedule unworkable.

Talk to a Family Law Attorney

If you’re dealing with a move that has made the current parenting schedule unworkable and the other parent will not communicate, our firm has experienced attorneys who can help explain options, prepare the right filing, and map out realistic timelines. Call us today at [CONTACT NUMBER].

Disclaimer: This article provides general information about North Carolina law based on the single question stated above. It is not legal advice for your specific situation and does not create an attorney-client relationship. Laws, procedures, and local practice can change and may vary by county. If you have a deadline, act promptly and speak with a licensed North Carolina attorney.

Category: Family Law Q&A Series

Author: Pierce Law

Pierce Law Group is a North Carolina law firm focused on probate administration, real estate partition matters, and surplus funds claims across North Carolina. We know these situations often come with stress, family dynamics, and time-sensitive decisions—so we prioritize clear communication, steady guidance, and a practical plan from day one. Our goal is to make a complicated process feel manageable, while protecting what matters most to you.