How do I start a divorce if my spouse left the home and I don’t know where they are? – North Carolina

Short Answer

In North Carolina, a divorce case starts by filing a verified divorce complaint and having a summons issued in the county where the case is filed. If a spouse cannot be found after a real, documented search, North Carolina law allows service by publication (a legal notice in a newspaper) so the case can move forward. The key is showing “due diligence” in trying to locate the missing spouse and then following the publication rules exactly.

Understanding the Problem

In North Carolina, can a spouse start an absolute divorce case when the other spouse left the marital home and the filing spouse does not know where the other spouse is currently located? The decision point is whether the missing spouse can be served with the divorce papers through normal methods or whether the court process must use publication because the spouse cannot be found. The issue usually turns on what steps were taken to locate the missing spouse and whether the court will treat those steps as enough to allow the case to proceed.

Apply the Law

North Carolina allows an absolute divorce after the spouses have lived separate and apart for at least one year and at least one spouse has lived in North Carolina for at least six months before filing. The divorce begins by filing a verified complaint and issuing a summons. Even if the other spouse cannot be located, the case can still move forward if service of process is completed in a way the law allows—most commonly, service by publication when the spouse cannot be served after due diligence.

Key Requirements

  • Eligibility to file for absolute divorce: The spouses must have lived separate and apart for at least one year, and at least one spouse must have lived in North Carolina for at least six months before filing.
  • Proper filing documents: The divorce complaint must be verified (sworn) and filed with the Clerk of Superior Court in the proper county, with a summons issued.
  • Valid service on the missing spouse: The filing spouse must first try the normal service methods allowed by Rule 4; if the spouse still cannot be found after due diligence, the filing spouse may ask to serve by publication and must file the required affidavits/proof with the court.

What the Statutes Say

Analysis

Apply the Rule to the Facts: Here, the goal is to start an absolute divorce even though the spouse left the home and cannot currently be located. North Carolina still requires service of process, so the case typically starts with filing a verified complaint and then attempting service through the methods in Rule 4 (such as sheriff service or certified mail to a last known address). If those attempts fail and a documented search still does not locate the spouse, the next step is usually requesting service by publication and filing the required affidavit(s) showing due diligence and the circumstances that justify publication.

Process & Timing

  1. Who files: The spouse seeking the divorce (the plaintiff). Where: The Clerk of Superior Court in the county where the divorce is filed in North Carolina. What: A verified Complaint for Absolute Divorce and a Civil Summons. When: After the spouses have lived separate and apart for at least one year, and after at least one spouse has lived in North Carolina for at least six months before filing.
  2. Try standard service first: Attempt service under Rule 4 (commonly sheriff service at a last known residence/workplace, or service by certified mail/authorized delivery service to a last known address). If service fails, keep records (returned mail, sheriff’s return, dates, addresses used, and other search steps).
  3. If the spouse still cannot be found, move to publication: File the paperwork the court requires to show due diligence and request service by publication under Rule 4(j1). The notice must run once a week for three successive weeks in a qualifying newspaper, and the spouse generally has 40 days to respond measured from the first publication date (as stated in the notice). After publication, file proof (affidavit) of publication (and mailing, if an address can be found) so the court can treat service as complete.

Exceptions & Pitfalls

  • “Due diligence” must be real and documented: Courts can reject publication if the search looks minimal. Common diligence steps include checking last known addresses, contacting known relatives (as appropriate), checking available public records, and attempting mail/service at the last known address. The exact steps that are “enough” can depend on the situation, so the affidavit should match what was actually done.
  • Publication can limit what the court can do in the same case: Publication may be enough to dissolve the marriage, but it can be a problem for claims that require personal jurisdiction over the missing spouse (for example, some money judgments). Strategy matters when other claims exist.
  • Do not accidentally waive property rights: An absolute divorce can cut off equitable distribution if it is not asserted before the divorce judgment. North Carolina has a limited safety valve when the missing spouse was served by publication and did not appear, but relying on that exception can be risky. Filing any needed property claim before the divorce is often the safer approach. See N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-11.
  • Strict compliance with Rule 4: Service rules must be followed closely. If service is defective, the divorce judgment can be vulnerable to challenge later.

Conclusion

In North Carolina, a divorce starts by filing a verified divorce complaint and having the other spouse served with a summons and complaint. If the spouse left the home and cannot be found after due diligence, North Carolina allows service by publication so the case can proceed. The key thresholds are one year of separation and six months of North Carolina residency for at least one spouse. Next step: file the verified complaint with the Clerk of Superior Court and begin Rule 4 service efforts immediately.

Talk to a Family Law Attorney

If you’re dealing with a divorce where a spouse left and cannot be located, our firm has experienced attorneys who can help explain the service-by-publication process, protect important claims, and keep the case moving. Call us today at [919-341-7055].

Disclaimer: This article provides general information about North Carolina law based on the single question stated above. It is not legal advice for your specific situation and does not create an attorney-client relationship. Laws, procedures, and local practice can change and may vary by county. If you have a deadline, act promptly and speak with a licensed North Carolina attorney.

Category: Family Law Q&A Series

Author: Pierce Law

Pierce Law Group is a North Carolina law firm focused on probate administration, real estate partition matters, and surplus funds claims across North Carolina. We know these situations often come with stress, family dynamics, and time-sensitive decisions—so we prioritize clear communication, steady guidance, and a practical plan from day one. Our goal is to make a complicated process feel manageable, while protecting what matters most to you.