Feb92026
Family Law Q&A Series

How do I start a contested divorce when one spouse is in the military? – North Carolina

Short Answer

In North Carolina, a contested divorce starts the same basic way as any other divorce: a verified complaint is filed with the Clerk of Superior Court and the other spouse must be properly served with a summons and complaint. Military status mainly changes the practical steps for locating and serving the spouse and can affect timing because the servicemember may request a court-ordered stay if military duties materially affect the ability to participate. A military family also needs to pay close attention to North Carolina’s residency rules and to whether related claims (custody, child support, postseparation support/alimony, and equitable distribution) should be filed at the same time.

Understanding the Problem

In North Carolina, can a spouse start a contested divorce when the other spouse is on active duty, deployed, or stationed outside the state? The key decision point is usually not whether filing is allowed, but whether the case can be started correctly and moved forward without service problems or delays tied to military obligations. The “start” of a contested divorce typically means filing the initial court papers in the correct county and completing valid service of process on the servicemember spouse so the court can proceed.

Apply the Law

North Carolina divorce cases are filed in state court and begin with a verified complaint. The complaint must allege the required residency facts and identify whether there are minor children of the marriage. After filing, the plaintiff must have the defendant served under North Carolina’s civil procedure rules. When a party is a servicemember, North Carolina law also recognizes that military service can justify a stay (pause) of the case if service duties materially affect the ability to litigate, and North Carolina has a specific statute addressing how military stationing can satisfy the State’s residency requirement for Chapter 50 actions.

Key Requirements

  • North Carolina residency and proper venue: The complaint must allege that at least one spouse has met North Carolina’s residency requirement before filing, and the case must be filed in an appropriate county based on the parties’ circumstances.
  • A verified divorce complaint that meets Chapter 50 pleading rules: North Carolina requires a verified complaint in divorce actions, and the pleading must include required statements (including whether there are minor children of the marriage).
  • Valid service of process on the servicemember spouse: The summons and complaint must be served using a method allowed by Rule 4. If service is defective, the case can be delayed or the resulting judgment can be attacked later.
  • Planning for possible military-related delay: If military duties materially affect participation, the servicemember can ask the court to stay the case, which can slow a contested divorce even after it is properly filed and served.

What the Statutes Say

Analysis

Apply the Rule to the Facts: The facts describe a military family in North Carolina considering a contested divorce. That usually means the first steps are (1) confirming that at least one spouse meets North Carolina’s residency requirement (including the special rule for being stationed in North Carolina), (2) preparing and filing a verified divorce complaint that includes the required Chapter 50 statements, and (3) completing valid service under Rule 4 even if the servicemember spouse is out of state or deployed. Because the divorce is expected to be contested, it is also important to plan for the possibility that the servicemember may request a stay if military duties materially affect participation.

Process & Timing

  1. Who files: The spouse seeking to start the case (the plaintiff). Where: The Clerk of Superior Court in the appropriate North Carolina county. What: A verified Complaint for divorce (and, if needed, related claims filed in the same action) and a Civil Summons. When: After the residency requirement is met; the summons is issued shortly after filing, and service must be completed within the Rule 4 time limits (with extensions handled through endorsement or alias/pluries summons if needed).
  2. Serve the servicemember spouse: Service is commonly done by sheriff/personal delivery, acceptance of service, or certified mail/other permitted delivery methods under Rule 4. If the spouse is stationed elsewhere, service may need coordination with the rules for out-of-state service. If the spouse cannot be found after due diligence, service by publication may be considered, but it has limits and can affect what relief the court can grant.
  3. Expect an answer and early motions: After service, the defendant typically has 30 days to answer (with a possible extension under the civil rules). In a military case, an early issue can be whether the servicemember requests a stay based on military duties and whether the court finds those duties materially affect participation.

Exceptions & Pitfalls

  • Service mistakes are a common derailment: Contested divorce cases can stall if service is attempted using an unapproved method or if the proof of service is incomplete. Military families often face extra logistics (out-of-state addresses, deployment, frequent moves), so strict compliance with Rule 4 matters.
  • Residency can be misunderstood in military families: Being “from” another state does not automatically prevent filing in North Carolina. However, the complaint must properly allege the residency facts, and military stationing can matter under North Carolina’s military residency statute.
  • A stay can slow a contested case: Even with proper filing and service, a servicemember may seek a stay if military service materially affects the ability to participate. Planning for that possibility (and documenting scheduling constraints) can reduce wasted hearings and continuances.
  • Related claims may need to be filed early: In a contested divorce, disputes often involve more than marital status (custody, support, property division). Waiting too long to assert related claims can create leverage problems or procedural complications, especially when one spouse is mobile due to military orders.

For more on service logistics when a spouse is not in North Carolina, see serving divorce papers when a spouse is outside the country and whether overseas signatures can still count. For military-specific financial issues that often become contested, see how military retirement and service-related benefits are handled.

Conclusion

To start a contested divorce in North Carolina when one spouse is in the military, the filing spouse must file a verified divorce complaint in the proper county and complete valid service of the summons and complaint under Rule 4. Military stationing in North Carolina can satisfy the six-month residency requirement in many cases, but the complaint must allege the required residency facts and minor-children information. After service, the servicemember spouse may request a stay if military duties materially affect participation, so the next step is to file the complaint with the Clerk of Superior Court and promptly complete service within the Rule 4 time limits.

Talk to a Family Law Attorney

If you’re dealing with starting a contested divorce in North Carolina involving a military spouse, our firm has experienced attorneys who can help explain filing options, service requirements, and likely timing issues. Call us today at [CONTACT NUMBER].

Disclaimer: This article provides general information about North Carolina law based on the single question stated above. It is not legal advice for your specific situation and does not create an attorney-client relationship. Laws, procedures, and local practice can change and may vary by county. If you have a deadline, act promptly and speak with a licensed North Carolina attorney.

Category: Family Law Q&A Series

Author: Pierce Law

Pierce Law Group is a North Carolina law firm focused on probate administration, real estate partition matters, and surplus funds claims across North Carolina. We know these situations often come with stress, family dynamics, and time-sensitive decisions—so we prioritize clear communication, steady guidance, and a practical plan from day one. Our goal is to make a complicated process feel manageable, while protecting what matters most to you.