Do I need to go back to court to change a parenting plan we already filed, or can we modify it by agreement? – North Carolina

Short Answer

In North Carolina, parents can agree to change a parenting plan, but if the plan is part of a court order (including a consent order), the safest way to make it enforceable is to go back to court and file a written consent modification for a judge to sign. If the plan was only a private written agreement and not a court order, parents can usually modify it by a new written agreement. When one parent later disagrees, the court generally will not “modify” an existing custody order unless there has been a changed circumstance affecting the child and the change is in the child’s best interests.

Understanding the Problem

In North Carolina child custody cases, the key question is whether the parenting plan that was “filed” is a private agreement between two parents or a custody order entered by a judge. If two unmarried parents separated and want to adjust the schedule after one parent moves out, can the parents simply agree to a new schedule, or must the change be put back in front of the court so it becomes enforceable?

Apply the Law

North Carolina treats custody changes differently depending on whether there is already a custody order. Parents are free to cooperate and follow a new schedule day-to-day, but an informal change may be hard to enforce if conflict returns. If there is a custody order, the court can modify it “upon motion in the cause” and a showing of changed circumstances, and the court must still focus on the child’s best interests. In practice, when both parents agree, they typically submit a written consent modification for the judge to enter so the updated plan becomes the enforceable order.

It also matters whether the “parenting plan” was ever entered as an order. A private agreement can be changed by another agreement, but it does not carry the same enforcement tools as a court order. If the plan was incorporated into a court order, the order remains the controlling document until a judge signs a new one.

For related guidance on whether a new filing is needed when agreement is not possible, see file a new custody case to change a parenting schedule.

Key Requirements

  • Identify what was “filed”: A private parenting agreement can usually be revised by a new written agreement; a custody order generally requires a new court order to change what is enforceable.
  • If there is a custody order, show a qualifying reason to change it: North Carolina generally requires a changed circumstance affecting the child before the court will modify custody, and the requested change must serve the child’s best interests.
  • Put the agreement in writing if enforceability matters: Even when both parents agree, a written, signed consent modification submitted to the court helps avoid later disputes about what was agreed to and when it starts.

What the Statutes Say

Analysis

Apply the Rule to the Facts: The facts describe two unmarried parents who separated and later had a change in living arrangements when one parent moved out. If the “parenting plan” was only a written agreement the parents filed or kept for their records (and no judge entered it as an order), the parents can usually modify it by a new written agreement. If a judge entered the plan as a custody order (including as a consent order), the enforceable way to change it is to submit a written consent modification to the court for a judge to sign; if agreement breaks down, the parent seeking a change generally must show a changed circumstance affecting the child and that the new plan serves the child’s best interests.

Process & Timing

  1. Who files: Both parents together (for an agreed change) or one parent (if not agreed). Where: The Clerk of Superior Court in the county where the custody case is pending in North Carolina. What: A written consent order/modification (often called a “consent order” or “consent modification”) submitted for a judge’s signature; if not agreed, a motion to modify custody filed in the existing case (“motion in the cause”). When: As soon as the parents want the change to be enforceable as a court order, or promptly if a dispute is developing.
  2. Review and scheduling: If both parents submit a signed consent modification, the court may enter it without a contested hearing, but timing varies by county and courtroom practices. If one parent files a motion to modify, the court will set deadlines and a hearing date, and the moving parent must be prepared to prove changed circumstances and best interests.
  3. Outcome: If approved, the judge enters a new custody order that replaces or amends the prior schedule and becomes the enforceable parenting plan going forward.

Exceptions & Pitfalls

  • Informal changes are not the same as a modified order: Parents can follow a new schedule by agreement, but if the old order stays in place, enforcement (and contempt) usually tracks the old order—not the handshake deal.
  • “Changed circumstances” must relate to the child: North Carolina generally looks for changes that significantly affect the child (not just a parent’s preferences). A move-out, new work schedule, or co-parenting breakdown may matter only if it impacts the child’s welfare.
  • Vague agreements create future disputes: Missing start dates, holiday rotations, exchange locations, transportation responsibilities, and communication rules often cause conflict. A clear written consent modification reduces ambiguity.
  • Jurisdiction issues: If the child has moved or another state is involved, North Carolina’s jurisdiction rules can affect where a modification can be filed. When that is a possibility, legal advice is important before filing.

Conclusion

In North Carolina, parents can agree to change a parenting plan, but if the plan is part of a custody order, the practical way to change it is to submit a written consent modification for a judge to sign so the new schedule is enforceable. If the parents cannot agree, a custody order is typically modified only after a motion is filed and the court finds changed circumstances affecting the child and that the change serves the child’s best interests. Next step: file a written consent modification (or a motion to modify) in the existing custody case with the Clerk of Superior Court as soon as the change needs to be enforceable.

Talk to a Family Law Attorney

If you’re dealing with a parenting plan change after separation and want the updated schedule to be clear and enforceable, our firm has experienced attorneys who can help you understand your options and timelines. Call us today at [919-341-7055].

Disclaimer: This article provides general information about North Carolina law based on the single question stated above. It is not legal advice for your specific situation and does not create an attorney-client relationship. Laws, procedures, and local practice can change and may vary by county. If you have a deadline, act promptly and speak with a licensed North Carolina attorney.

Category: Family Law Q&A Series

Author: Pierce Law

Pierce Law Group is a North Carolina law firm focused on probate administration, real estate partition matters, and surplus funds claims across North Carolina. We know these situations often come with stress, family dynamics, and time-sensitive decisions—so we prioritize clear communication, steady guidance, and a practical plan from day one. Our goal is to make a complicated process feel manageable, while protecting what matters most to you.