Feb92026
Family Law Q&A Series

Can I ask the court to change custody or parenting time because the other parent keeps withholding the child and missing scheduled visits? – North Carolina

Short Answer

Yes. In North Carolina, a court can change (modify) custody or parenting time if there has been a changed circumstance since the last order and the requested change is in the child’s best interest. Repeatedly withholding the child, refusing court-ordered contact, or consistently missing scheduled visits can support a request to modify, and it can also support an enforcement action such as contempt.

Understanding the Problem

In North Carolina, when there is already a custody order (including a parenting time schedule and phone/video contact), the question is whether a parent can ask the District Court to change that order because the other parent is not following it. The decision point is whether the pattern of missed visits and withheld contact is serious enough to justify a court changing custody or parenting time, rather than only enforcing the existing order.

Apply the Law

North Carolina allows custody orders to be modified “at any time” by filing a motion in the existing case, but the moving party must show a meaningful change since the last order and then show the requested change serves the child’s welfare. Courts focus on the child, not on punishing a parent. That said, ongoing interference with parenting time and communication can matter because it can affect the child’s stability and relationship with each parent.

Key Requirements

  • Existing custody order: There must be a current custody/parenting time order to modify (including supervised parenting time or phone contact terms).
  • Changed circumstances affecting the child: The court must find a substantial change since the last order, and the change must relate to the child’s welfare (not just adult conflict).
  • Best interest of the child: If the court finds changed circumstances, it then decides what custody/parenting time terms best promote the child’s interest and welfare.

What the Statutes Say

Analysis

Apply the Rule to the Facts: The facts describe an existing order with joint legal custody and supervised parenting time, plus court-ordered phone contact. Allegations that the other parent has missed many visits, stopped ordered phone contact, and refuses to provide an address or respond can support an argument that circumstances have changed since the last order and that the child’s welfare is being affected (for example, by disrupting consistent contact and creating instability around the schedule). If the court agrees, it can modify the parenting time terms (and in some cases custody terms) to better protect the child’s routine and the parent-child relationship.

Process & Timing

  1. Who files: The parent seeking the change. Where: North Carolina District Court (typically in the county where the custody case is pending, or a proper venue under the custody statutes). What: Usually a Motion in the Cause to modify custody/visitation under the existing case file number, and often a separate Motion/Order to Show Cause (contempt) or motion to enforce if the order is being violated. When: After the missed visits/withheld contact pattern occurs and can be documented; emergency relief may be available only in narrow situations involving serious risk.
  2. Notice and hearing: The other parent must be served and given notice. If the other parent is avoiding contact, counsel often focuses early on proper service and creating a clear record of attempted communication and missed exchanges.
  3. Outcome documents: The judge may enter an order enforcing the current schedule, finding contempt (if proven), and/or modifying custody/parenting time terms. Modifications often include clearer exchange details, tighter supervision logistics, and specific electronic communication rules so compliance is easier to measure.

Exceptions & Pitfalls

  • Enforcement vs. modification: A violation of the order can support contempt under North Carolina law, but the court still needs a separate showing of changed circumstances and best interest to modify custody/parenting time.
  • Proving impact on the child: North Carolina courts generally look for a connection between the conduct (withholding/missed visits) and the child’s welfare. Keeping a detailed log of missed visits, cancelled supervision sessions, and blocked phone/video contact can help show the pattern and its effect.
  • Do not “self-help” by changing the schedule: Even when the other parent violates the order, unilateral changes (showing up outside the ordered time, refusing to follow supervision rules, or withholding support because visits were missed) can backfire and distract from the main issue.
  • Vague orders create conflict: If the current order is flexible or unclear (for example, “reasonable visitation” or unclear phone-contact windows), the court may be more focused on clarifying terms than changing custody. A request for more specific terms can be part of a modification or enforcement strategy.

Conclusion

Yes—North Carolina courts can change custody or parenting time when there is an existing order and a party proves a changed circumstance affecting the child, and the requested change is in the child’s best interest. A repeated pattern of withholding the child, missing scheduled supervised visits, and cutting off court-ordered phone contact can support that request and may also support contempt enforcement. The next step is to file a motion in the cause in District Court seeking modification (and, when appropriate, enforcement) and promptly serve the other parent.

Talk to a Family Law Attorney

If you’re dealing with a parent who is withholding a child, missing scheduled visits, or cutting off court-ordered contact, our firm has experienced attorneys who can help explain options for enforcement and modification and the timelines involved. Call us today at [919-341-7055].

Disclaimer: This article provides general information about North Carolina law based on the single question stated above. It is not legal advice for your specific situation and does not create an attorney-client relationship. Laws, procedures, and local practice can change and may vary by county. If you have a deadline, act promptly and speak with a licensed North Carolina attorney.

Category: Family Law Q&A Series

Author: Pierce Law

Pierce Law Group is a North Carolina law firm focused on probate administration, real estate partition matters, and surplus funds claims across North Carolina. We know these situations often come with stress, family dynamics, and time-sensitive decisions—so we prioritize clear communication, steady guidance, and a practical plan from day one. Our goal is to make a complicated process feel manageable, while protecting what matters most to you.