Jan252026
Family Law Q&A Series

Can I get custody of my minor sibling if both parents are still alive but neither home feels safe or stable? – North Carolina

Short Answer

Possibly, but it is not automatic in North Carolina. When a non-parent (including an adult sibling) asks a court for custody over a living parent, the court generally must first find that a parent is unfit or has acted inconsistently with the parent’s constitutionally protected parental rights; only then does the court decide what arrangement is in the child’s best interest. If there is an immediate safety risk, a report to child protective services and a juvenile court safety case may be the fastest path to emergency protection.

Understanding the Problem

Can an adult sibling in North Carolina ask a judge to place a minor sibling in the adult sibling’s custody when both parents are still alive, but the child’s home environment includes ongoing verbal abuse and occasional physical escalation? The decision point is whether a non-parent can legally step in through the court system when a parent still has legal rights, and what type of case (custody, guardianship, or a juvenile safety case) fits the safety and stability concerns.

Apply the Law

In North Carolina, child custody cases are typically handled in District Court under Chapter 50. A judge can award custody to a “person” who will best promote the child’s interest and welfare, but when the dispute is between a parent and a non-parent, the parent’s constitutional rights add an extra hurdle. In practice, a non-parent generally must show (with strong evidence) that a parent is unfit or has acted inconsistently with the parent’s protected status before the court moves to a best-interest comparison.

Key Requirements

  • Standing (a real relationship): The adult sibling must usually show a meaningful, established relationship with the child (not a “stranger” to the child) to be allowed to bring a non-parent custody claim.
  • Parental unfitness or inconsistent conduct: The court generally must find a parent is unfit to safely parent, or that the parent’s conduct has been inconsistent with the parent’s protected parental rights (for example, failing to protect the child from harmful discipline or abuse, or effectively giving up parenting authority in a way that harms the child).
  • Best interest of the child: If the constitutional hurdle is met, the judge then decides what custody arrangement best promotes the child’s welfare, including safety considerations.

What the Statutes Say

Analysis

Apply the Rule to the Facts: Here, the concern is ongoing verbal abuse with occasional physical escalation in the parent’s home. In a non-parent custody case, those facts typically matter most to the “unfitness/inconsistent conduct” requirement, because the court must be persuaded that a parent cannot safely exercise custody or has failed to protect the child from harmful behavior. If that threshold is met, the adult sibling’s ability to provide a stable, safe home and a continuing relationship with the child becomes central to the best-interest analysis.

Process & Timing

  1. Who files: The adult sibling (or another appropriate adult with a real relationship to the child). Where: District Court in the county where the child lives (Chapter 50 custody), or Juvenile Court through the county Department of Social Services if abuse/neglect/dependency intervention is needed. What: A custody complaint and motion for emergency/temporary custody in a Chapter 50 case, or a report to DSS that may lead to a juvenile petition. When: If there is immediate danger, act promptly; emergency filings and DSS safety actions are time-sensitive and can move quickly.
  2. Temporary orders first: In many custody disputes, the court addresses temporary custody early, then sets a later hearing for longer-term custody. In a juvenile safety case, DSS screening and court involvement can occur on an emergency basis depending on risk.
  3. Longer-term placement: If the court finds the parent is unfit or has acted inconsistently with protected parental rights, the court can then decide whether placing the child with the adult sibling is in the child’s best interest and enter an order that sets custody and visitation terms.

Exceptions & Pitfalls

  • “Unsafe” is not always enough by itself: A court may take verbal abuse and intimidation seriously, but a non-parent still usually must clear the constitutional hurdle (unfitness or inconsistent conduct) before the court compares homes based on best interest.
  • Standing problems: If the adult sibling has not played a consistent caretaking role or does not have an established relationship with the child, the court may find the adult sibling lacks standing to pursue custody against a parent.
  • Guardianship limits when parents are alive: Minor guardianship through the Clerk of Superior Court can be limited when a parent remains a “natural guardian,” so guardianship is not always the right tool when the goal is to override a living parent’s custody.
  • Evidence and documentation gaps: These cases often turn on credibility and proof. Medical records, school records, prior law enforcement involvement, DSS history, and consistent third-party observations can matter more than generalized concerns.
  • Emergency safety planning: If the child is in immediate danger, waiting to “build a custody case” can be risky; a DSS report or emergency court action may be necessary to protect the child while longer-term custody is decided.

Conclusion

In North Carolina, an adult sibling can sometimes obtain custody of a minor sibling even when both parents are alive, but the court usually must first find that a parent is unfit or has acted inconsistently with the parent’s protected parental rights before deciding best interest. When the concern includes physical escalation, the most important next step is to promptly start the correct court pathway—often by filing for emergency/temporary custody in District Court or making an immediate report to DSS—so safety can be addressed without delay.

Talk to a Family Law Attorney

If a minor sibling is living in a home that feels unsafe or unstable and a non-parent custody case may be necessary, our firm has experienced attorneys who can help explain the options, the proof a court typically requires, and the timelines for emergency and longer-term orders. Call us today at [919-341-7055].

Disclaimer: This article provides general information about North Carolina law based on the single question stated above. It is not legal advice for your specific situation and does not create an attorney-client relationship. Laws, procedures, and local practice can change and may vary by county. If you have a deadline, act promptly and speak with a licensed North Carolina attorney.

Category: Family Law Q&A Series

Author: Pierce Law

Pierce Law Group is a North Carolina law firm focused on probate administration, real estate partition matters, and surplus funds claims across North Carolina. We know these situations often come with stress, family dynamics, and time-sensitive decisions—so we prioritize clear communication, steady guidance, and a practical plan from day one. Our goal is to make a complicated process feel manageable, while protecting what matters most to you.