Is it legal for my spouse to refuse me a key to our shared home, and what court orders can address this? – North Carolina

Short Answer

Under North Carolina law, a spouse who co-owns or lawfully occupies the marital home generally has a right to be in the residence, and changing the locks to exclude that spouse can amount to an unlawful “ouster” unless there is a valid court order (such as a domestic violence protective order) giving one spouse exclusive possession. When no such order exists, a spouse may ask the district court for orders addressing (1) who has possession of the home (exclusive possession or a requirement to provide access) and (2) temporary or permanent child custody and visitation, including limits on overnight visitors if that affects the children’s best interests.

Understanding the Problem

The focused question is whether, in North Carolina family law, one spouse can refuse to provide a key to a shared home and what court orders can address both access to the residence and parenting issues. The caller is a spouse in North Carolina whose partner previously obtained but later had a restraining order dismissed, then changed the locks on the shared home and refused to provide a key. Children report discomfort due to multiple overnight visitors at the home, and the caller wants to know what legal steps through family court can address access to the residence and custody or parenting-time concerns.

Apply the Law

North Carolina law treats spouses who jointly own or lawfully occupy a marital residence as having equal possessory rights unless a court has granted one of them exclusive possession. When conflict arises, the district court can adjudicate rights to the home through Chapter 50 actions and can set child custody and visitation terms based on the children’s best interests, including safety and exposure to inappropriate situations. Criminal trespass concepts and cotenant statutes also frame when keeping a spouse out becomes an “ouster.”

Key Requirements

Right to possess the home: Each lawful cotenant (including many married co-owners) has a right to enter, occupy, and use the property, and one spouse cannot permanently exclude the other without a valid court order or separation agreement.
Actual ouster / exclusion: Changing locks and refusing access can constitute an “actual ouster” of a cotenant, which allows the ousted spouse to seek a court order compelling admission back into possession or clarifying exclusive possession.
Custody and parenting orders: The district court must base custody and visitation on the children’s best interests, with explicit consideration of domestic violence, safety, and any conduct (including overnight visitors) that is not in the children’s best interests.

What the Statutes Say

N.C. Gen. Stat. § 41-83 (Possession of property held as cotenants) – Each cotenant has a right to enter, occupy, and use the property, and one cotenant generally cannot sue another just for taking possession absent an “actual ouster.”
N.C. Gen. Stat. § 41-88 (Actual ouster; action to compel admission) – An ousted cotenant may bring an action to compel the cotenant in possession to admit the ousted cotenant back into possession.
N.C. Gen. Stat. § 14-134.3 (Domestic criminal trespass) – Makes it a crime to enter or remain on a separated spouse’s premises after being told to leave, but carves out an exception when a judicial order or separation agreement gives a right to enter to visit minor children.
N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-13.2 (Custody; best interest standard) – Requires custody orders to serve the child’s best interests and to include written findings on domestic violence, safety of the child, and each parent’s conduct.
N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50B-3 (Domestic violence protective order relief) – Allows the court, when domestic violence is proven, to grant exclusive possession of the residence and temporary custody and to restrict or structure visitation.

Analysis

Apply the Rule to the Facts: In the described situation, the restraining order has been dismissed, so there is no current court order granting exclusive possession of the home to the spouse who changed the locks. If the residence is jointly owned or otherwise lawfully shared, refusing to provide a key and preventing entry looks like an “actual ouster” under North Carolina cotenancy law, and the ousted spouse may ask the court to compel re-entry or to decide which spouse has temporary or longer-term possession. For the children, the report of discomfort from multiple overnight visitors raises best-interest concerns; the district court may address this through a child custody action, including orders on where the children live, what overnight visitation is allowed, and whether restrictions on unrelated overnight guests are needed to protect their emotional well-being.

Process & Timing

Who files: The ousted spouse. Where: District Court, General Court of Justice, in the North Carolina county where the marital home or the children reside (see N.C. Gen. Stat. § 7A-244 for domestic relations jurisdiction). What: A Chapter 50 complaint (or motion in an existing case) requesting child custody/visitation and possession of the marital residence, and, if appropriate, a separate civil action or motion asserting ouster and seeking an order compelling admission to the home under the cotenancy statutes. When: As soon as practical after exclusion from the home and once parenting concerns become apparent.
After filing, the clerk issues a summons and the documents are served on the other spouse. The court may set temporary or emergency hearings, particularly on custody or parenting issues, within days to a few weeks, depending on the county’s calendar and whether emergency relief is requested.
Following temporary hearings, the case proceeds through discovery, mediation (which is mandatory for most custody disputes), and then a full custody and property or possession hearing if needed. The outcome is a written order resolving temporary or permanent custody and specifying who may live in or access the residence, often with detailed visitation schedules and any overnight-guest or conduct restrictions the court finds necessary.

Exceptions & Pitfalls

If the spouse who changed the locks already has a valid domestic violence protective order or similar judgment granting exclusive possession, entering the home without permission can risk arrest for violating that order or for domestic criminal trespass.
Calling law enforcement to “force” entry into the home without a clear court order can backfire; officers commonly treat it as a civil dispute and may warn that entry could lead to criminal charges if separation and exclusion are established.
Failing to raise custody issues early can leave children in a disrupted environment, and later requests to restrict overnight guests must be backed by specific facts showing how the situation harms or risks harming the children.

Conclusion

In North Carolina, a spouse who shares lawful rights to the marital home is generally not supposed to be locked out without a court order granting the other spouse exclusive possession, and doing so can amount to an “actual ouster” that the court can remedy. At the same time, district court judges decide child custody and visitation based on the children’s best interests, including safety and exposure to disruptive overnight visitors. The next practical step is to file in district court for custody and related relief—including orders on who has possession of the home and what parenting conditions apply—before a divorce becomes final or the current arrangement becomes too entrenched.

Talk to a Family Law Attorney

If a spouse in North Carolina has changed the locks on a shared home or created uncomfortable conditions for children through frequent overnight visitors, our firm has experienced family law attorneys who can help explain options for home possession and custody orders. Call us today at 919-341-7055.

Disclaimer: This article provides general information about North Carolina law based on the single question stated above. It is not legal advice for any specific situation and does not create an attorney-client relationship. Laws, procedures, and local practice can change and may vary by county. If there is a deadline, act promptly and speak with a licensed North Carolina attorney.